How Cook Food

I want to try the McAfrica. Sounds like a McDonald’s version of a Gyro or Shwarma.

Via: Medical Insurance

When I go to the baking section I find so many bottles of imitation vanilla. Finally, after searching, I find the REAL vanilla extract, that came from REAL vanilla beans. Does it cost a dollar or two more? Sure. But how much vanilla extract are you using? Most recipes call for a two teaspoons max. So why put the fake stuff in? It’s like a Christmas tree. Sure the fake, plastic tree is easier, but it doesn’t compare at all to the real thing. The smell. The aroma. You need the real thing to get that real taste.

Long story short: Ditch the imitation, and grab the real thing.

Try The New Anus Burger. Sounds Delicious. Mmm.

That is the eternal question isn’t it? It’s actually a simple two sided answer.

In most fancy restaurants, when you order a pasta dish, they will cook the pasta to order. While it is cooking, the line chef will make the sauce for the dish, be it Alfredo, pesto, or white wine sauce with lobster.

If he knows what his is doing, the pasta and sauce will finish cooking about the same time. He will shake the pasta vigorously to drain the water, and place it in the pan of sauce. He will cook for a minute or two to bring the flavors together and have the sauce stick to the pasta. He will pick up the pasta, plate it in the center, surround it with the left over sauce, and probably garnish it with some gross green stuff.

So if you’re making pasta to order and want to go all gourmet and OCD, then do not rinse the pasta. When don’t rinse the pasta, all the starch that was released into the water is all over the noodles. This way the sauce will stick well to the pasta. Also, everything else will stick, like the other noodles, and your hands.

At home it’s usually a different story. Serving a large family with many different taste, I would rinse the pasta in cool water. This way it stops cooking. Now everyone can ladle the amount of sauce they like. Also, picky eaters are satisfied with plain pasta they can customize with butter and salt, or , shudder, ketchup. I actually love ketchup and noodles.

Another reason to rinse and stay plain, is perhaps one person can’t eat the pasta dish for health reasons, just because of one ingredient. Now they are stuck with eating carrot sticks.

Now the leftover pasta is plain and can be saved for later. Once pasta has been sauced, saving it for later, in my opinion, is disgusting. All the moister from the sauce is soaked up by the noodles, and you end up with dry red vegetables, and sticky red noodles.

So if you are a regular human, the answer is simple: Rinse the pasta.

We are one big, fluffy nation!

So I’m shopping and walk by the spices aisle. I see rows and rows of spices called ‘chicken spice’, or ’steak seasoning’. Hm, I wonder what ‘chicken spice’ is. So I check the ingredients: Salt, MSG, Dextrose, and a sprinkle of something else. I checked them all, and that’s what they all are. Salt, poisonous salt(MSG), and dextrose(Sugar).

So don’t buy these scam spices that are just bad for you. When you make chicken, season with salt and brown sugar, don’t buy their scam poisonous spices. So the lesson of the day: READ THE INGREDIENTS of the food you are consuming. It’s going inside of you, you should know what it’s made of. Then maybe you won’t be so swift to shove those BBQ chips that are covered in crazy chemicals your body is not made to take in.

I saw it again, and every time I laugh. Walking into the grocery store, I see some poor schmuck walking out with a gallon of milk in each hand. I could see the condensation beads of sweat on the milk. I’m sure he had to tighten his grip, so the slippery handles wouldn’t slip out of his hands.

Have you ever walked around in public with a gallon of milk in each hand? You look like a crazed lunatic.  The further he walked away from the store, the funnier, and more ridiculous he looked.

‘Hey, who’s that asshole walking around with all that milk? Who’s he think he is, the god damn milk man??’

You already know how I think groceries are stupid for not bagging the milk. This guy is walking out and for I all I know, he could have walked in, taken the milk, and bailed. Even if he didn’t, t just looks ridiculous.

Bag the god damn milk!

This woman is out of the country and finds an American Section. Just like at your local supermarket they have ‘Chinese’ or ‘Mexican’ sections, she found an American sections. Let’s see what the world thinks Americans eat…

It seems all we eat is cake with fluff, marshmallows, BBQ sauce, and other processed mayonnaise sauces on top. Actually I think they got it right on!

There are so many names of cuts of beef, grades of beef, and beef dishes it gets confusing. Many cuts of beef have just taken the name of their most common dish. For example, London Broil is just marinating and broiling or grilling a huge flat cut of beef, usually a piece of Flank. But most people don’t even know what the Flank is, and many butchers just sell London Broil roast as the name for Flank. The Flank is a bottom cut of the cow under the short loin.

Filet Mignon is just French for fillet of the smallest. It’s really just a cut from the smallest part of the Tenderloin, which is also one of the smallest, most prized pieces of meat on the cow, as it works the least and is tender(hence the name). That’s why everyone says, ‘Oh, I loooove Filet Mignon.’ What are you speaking French now? Do you even know what you’re saying?

Another example I see at the grocery store is stew meat? What the heck part of the cow is the stew meat part? They don’t say the real name because ’stew meat’ is usually just the toughest cheapest part of the cow like left over pieces of Chuck and the Shank. Uh, who wants to buy ‘Shank’? No one. But ’stew meat’  chopped up into cubes called ’stew meat’ sells outs. I guess it’s just a part of marketing.

All meat sold in America is regulated by  the USDA, or United States Department of Agriculture to ensure safe, pathogen-free, disease-free meat. It is a pass or fail system. So all those rumors about Taco Bell serving grade D meat is bogus. There is no such thing as grade D. Either it passes or not.

Meat suppliers CAN ASK to be graded by the USDA and the three highest levels are 3.Select, 2.Choice, and 1.Prime. What they are grading is actual level of good fat marbling in the meat, and lack of bad fat and veins. The more good fat marbling, the juicier, more tender, more delicious your steak will be.

Select is generally the type of meat you will find at a Big Box Stores like your K-Wal-Super-Duper-Marts. Choice is found at higher end groceries, and Prime you really should go to your butcher for. As you go up in better meat quality so does price. Next time you’re at the store look at the prices and try to find the USDA label. If you’re in the land of the free and the home of the brave, then that stamp has to be there.

So let’s say you order Prime Rib at a restaurant. The cut of meat is just a slice of a rib roast. The whole roast was labeled as Prime by the United States Department of Agriculture. That’s right, your steak is certified as the highest level beef you can buy in America. Pretty cool. But you’re not eating something called ‘prime rib’, you’re eating a rib that has a grade of prime. It’s kind of like showing off. I can’t think of that many other dishes called prime in front of it just because we’re cooking with a USDA prime level of meat. If I have a brisket that’s prime, would I call it ‘prime brisket’, or ‘prime London Broil’? No, it sounds stupid.